Bonjour a-tous~ Welcome to the December 2025 edition of this blog post! Click here to continue!
Disclaimer- Hey since you're here! Make sure you leave a comment and share my post! Arigato~
Well, it's the last month of the year. I have to say, thinking these past couple of days. This year has been a real disappointment for me.
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And I absolutely love this image! It looks like me with my future daughter waiting on Daddy to come pick us up. lolπ
First Product of the Day
I am going to use this tomorrow!
Today, I decided to check out House of Ninjas with my boy Kento Kaku. This show is surprisingly good! Had no idea about it. I have two episodes left! Why Takayuki Yamada looking John Lennon?
12/2 I've tried my Wavytalk Steamline brush today. I have to say that I am very impressed with the product. The only issue is that my hair is very DAMAGED! The ends are a nightmare to straighten! ~sighs~ I'm doing everything I can for my hair and it feels hopeless. Here's a before
And after.
I haven't used a steam straightener since my first flat iron which was that Maxiglide. Hopefully this lasts longer than that one did.π
I've received my items from Sephora and Ulta. First time ever!
Ulta
Sephora
MARA Sea the Glow® Mara's Discovery Skincare Gift Set, Fable & Mane Where Hair Roars – Strength & Volume Gift Set, Macrene Actives High Performance Face Cleanser, Vegamour Gro+ Advanced Shampoo And Conditioner, Shu Eumura Essence Absolu Oil-15 ml and a mysterious eyeliner
These products better do wonders with how small this stuff is!
12/3 You know, I have been doing some thinking. These past few days, well, late November to now, I have been thinking about how people truly feel about me. I've come to accept that these people never liked me to begin with. As much as it hurts, I should be relieved. This blog was on private for an entire month yet I was still updating it. I ask myself why am I bothering with making content? Why am I doing the very thing my late brother did before he passed? Which is venting on social media to people who don't care. Or venting period to people who don't care. Just a feeling of emptiness within me.
YM.
@yaeebaee
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Dec 2
it’s sad you can’t even post on your social media cus everything is being monitored and recorded for obsessional purposes π«¨
I don't know if it was earlier this week or so but I've recorded a new theme song I will have in the background of my videos. It's from a Bingo game. As soon as I heard it, I was like EYYYYY!! lmao
I watched some more NG4. This game is so colorful but I hate that when I clicked off, I was basically spoiled with someone's thumbnail of Yakamo facing Ryu Hayabusa! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!π΅π«
Tonight, I watched HiGH&LOW- The Red Rain. Holy sh＊t this movie kicked ＊ss! The series is getting better and better! Definitely invoked some emotions(the brother dying) but it was really good.
12/4 It's been raining here since last night. Whew! I looked outside to see my stuff from Ulta and FJ. I don't know why these fools won't just ring the damn doorbell! My boxes were wet!
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FJ has my Ranma 1/2 dress with socks included(had no idea the socks were with them).
And here's my items from Ulta.
Man what am I going to do with these two men's samples? lol Definitely splitting some of this stuff with Mom.
Saw my birthdate on this bottle. lol
More Ninja Gaiden 4. No where near to the end.
I tried to complete my game but got to the point where I couldn't. It's a shame because I love this game. I will play it again one day in the future.
12/5 I woke up early at four/five to discover the sad news of the passing of Cary Hiroyuki Tagawa!πππ WOW OH NOOOOO! He was the first Japanese man I've ever had a crush on as a kid! I loved him before Mortal Kombat and always thought he was really handsome! I'm going to miss him. I hated to hear this news. I'm crying right now.
I wouldn't be interested in Japanese men til this day, if not for Mr. Tagawa. It was something about the alien in this show that made me say AH! RIP Caryπππ
I usually do my December cash outs but I've decided to wait til the New Years to do so.
12/7 Welp folks, it's one day before I hit the big 4-0. Wow... And all I feel is sadness right now... I was thinking the other day, how I regretted spending Xmas with my ex best friend when I should have been at home with my family. My Dad was literally worried about me but something happened to cause me to run off to them for Xmas. I should have been at home with him. I'll never make this mistake again, dealing with people who don't care about me. Unfortunately he's gone now... But I will continue spending it with my Mother.
I finished my Chinese hair bows. I only made two for now but will make two more this week. I started on these yesterday.
I'm going to cheer myself up by watching some Asian movies. Snowpiercer is on and I missed an hour of it. Ugh!
Watched Cruel War because I've been missing Andy On. This movie was quite sad...
My last selfie at 39 years old...
I finished watching Ninja Gaiden 4. Wow, I didn't like that Yakumo and Ryu had to fight each other and it seemed like Ryu was passing the torch to him. I enjoyed watching it. Very colorful.
12/8 Happy birthday to me, folks. Looking at Bing made me smile.
I went with Mom to Sephora, BJ's, Olive Garden and Chili's. I mentioned something that happened at Sephora and Olive Garden. Gosh, I hope next year, I'm celebrating my birthday somewhere else. My birthday freebie from Sephora.
I could have gotten this online. I wanted the Kerastase samples.π
Here's my selfieπΌ
12/9 I went on my errand run with Mom. The Taiwanese owner of the washing mat walked pass me saying something and I waved at him. I walked up to ask him what he said. He says ooo I said your hair is really pretty. He loved my hair accessories!! Yes, I wore them again today. I told him I love Chinese and Japanese cultures and I really appreciate his compliment. I've been getting compliments from women since yesterday and a man of a culture I appreciate, actually liked my hair accessories. lol
He's always been nice to us. Unlike his son. His son was a total ＊sshole to me earlier this year. I wasn't approaching to express interest sir, I love Nicholas Tse, Jet Li, Donnie Yen and Andy On. You look like NONE of them! I Always preferred Japanese(including the lovely man who passed away this month) and Korean men. I am so glad the younger guys are starting to wake up and learning how to treat women with respect.
Went shopping at Burlington Coat Factory and Mom got me some Playboy slippers. Then at World Market, I bought some Japanese and Chinese snacks and gifts.
I have noticed that Asians were looking at me today as well. I got some hair products.
Kiss Colors & Care Multivitamin Oil for Hair and Skin, Hollywood Beauty Rosemary Premium Oil, OGX Argan Oil, OGX Bond Protein Repair Serum
One day, my hair is going to tell me f＊ck you. lol I've spent more on my hair than my face this time. My hair is super dry around this time.
Never dull your shine for somebody else.
-Tyra Banks
12/11 Tonight, I watched HiGH&LOW The Movie 2- END OF SKY. This entire series is insane! I hate that I am almost at the end!
Mom came home from a seniors' Christmas party and gave me some Xmas cookies.
I forgot to mention weeks ago that the Barnes & Noble store in Baton Rouge is gone. I was like WTF??? I've had some interesting memories of this place. I remember me and my folks would go there after the shows are over at the United Artist(now Movie Tavern). When I went to the Mall of Louisiana this week, it was still dead as f＊ck. So many places in that city is either gone or dead.
12/12 Some group put a DMCA on my store so I deleted the product. I won't purchase anything from Demonia again. I see these types of shoes in Japan so if I want them, I'll save up and get them.
12/13 I finished watching House of Ninjas. I'm guessing there's going to be a season two judging by the ending.
Tonight, I watched Kyosho – You Die in One Hit… And The Mansion Wants You Dead. Interesting game and I loved the music in it. Kinda reminded me of Fatal Frame.
12/14 Tell me why I had a dream that there were Korean skincare on this table and a brand with HANY popped up. I went to Sephora website randomly and it turns out, there is a brand with this name and it's Hanyul. Should I try it?
12/16 I had a dream about a phoenix floating in the night sky. So I looked up the meaning:
Dreaming of a phoenix at night signifies powerful themes of rebirth, transformation, overcoming adversity, and hope emerging from darkness, representing a major life change or inner strength rising, especially as the night sky contrasts with the bird's fiery nature, suggesting light in challenging times. It points to powerful personal renewal, ending an old cycle, and finding new beginnings, often tied to spiritual growth or immense resilience in your life.
Key Meanings
Renewal & Rebirth: The phoenix rising from ashes is a classic symbol for a fresh start after difficulty, an end to one phase (night), and a new beginning (dawn).
Inner Strength & Resilience: It shows your capacity to endure trials and emerge stronger, finding solutions to seemingly impossible problems.
Transformation: Expect significant personal growth or a radical shift in your life, moving from a low point (night) to a higher, more enlightened state.
Hope in Darkness: The fiery bird in the night sky powerfully symbolizes hope, optimism, and spiritual light shining through periods of despair or uncertainty.
What to Consider in Your Dream
Your Emotions: Were you hopeful, scared, or awestruck? Your feelings reflect how you're approaching these changes.
The Phoenix's Appearance: Was it fiery, golden, or blue? Colors add layers, like blue suggesting spiritual wisdom or a golden hue indicating great fortune.
Your Life Context: Think about what "ends" and what "begins" in your waking life—a job, relationship, belief, or personal challenge.
I have not touched my books in a month or so yet I still have these types of dreams...
I am so behind on stuff so I am going to do some editing and publishing.
Tonight, I decided to watch Baragaki: Unbroken Samurai. Only watched half because it's over two hours long. So many familiar faces in it.
12/17 I finished watching the movie from last night. Reminded me a bit of the other samurai show I watched weeks ago.
12/18 I went on an errand run with my Mom and nephew. He and I went into Walk-Ons for the first time in another town to get my free birthday cookie & ice cream.
He got me some food from Sonic: 2 Jr. cheeseburgers, Groovy fries with dragon fruit lemonade. Yeah, so much for my diet.π
SAGITTARIUS RISING
During the past three years, your sense of security has been SHAKEN. Everything you thought was stable wasn’t & everything you thought you could rely on was tested.
In 2026, your emotional foundation will be UNSHAKEABLE. You've healed the wounds, broken the cycles, done the inner work. And the internal security you built is going to radiate outward in everything you do.
12/19 Tonight, I watched Romantics Anonymous. Man, when I tell you that seeing Shun Oguri again had me in my feelings. Like I said last year, no one will understand. He still looks good.
12/20 Another cold ＊ss morning and these past couple of days, I have been having mixed emotions. I don't think it's the weather either. I have been holding in some resentment which I shouldn't have and there's another feeling I have been having lately which I didn't think I was going to have. I haven't had this feeling since 2018. And it feels overwhelming. Fighting back tears thinking about it but it's there and there's nothing I can do about it. And I think that's what hurts me the most: not being able to do anything about it...
I had a dream I barely remember where this Asian chick was praising me. I wish I could remember what she said but I was so happy to hear it.
And this song has been on my mind all week.
My last items from OneMap arrived.
12/21 I was checking out the remaining episodes of this Japanese show I have been watching and what stuck out to me, is the episode where the guy who had been abused by the others, ended up sacrificing himself and they all grieved for him. It had me thinking about certain people. Then as I sit here, it made me think about my Dad and my late step brother. That episode really pulled at my strings after thinking about it. I am seeing the same thing going on and folks just don't want to see it. I've got no one anything for Christmas. I thought about myself. Why am I trying to buy the respect of others who could care less about me? They laugh at me, talk about me yet expect me to show up for them. I ain't showing up for them! You can't even ask these folks to fix any damn thing yet they have their hands out wanting more. I don't ever want to be that person. I was thinking days ago, about how I should have been spending Christmas with my family back in 2007 instead of with my ex best friend and her toxic family. I think Dad forgot why he was angry with me and was happy when I got home. I will not make that sacrifice ever again for people who don't care about me. It seems like I've spent more time trying to save others instead of myself. Edit- I just realized I said this earlier this month. Y'all know sometimes I don't revise what I write on here.
I think Cellular came on today on one of those Spanish channels. I haven't seen this movie in YEARS! In fact this was the first time I seen Chris Evans! Always loved that remix to Nina Simone's song as well! Was freaking obsessed with this movie and this song!
I noticed that since I've changed the title of the blog that Google has NOT sent me any restriction notices! So you mean to tell me that all of these years, all I had to do was just simple change the title of the blog? I COULD HAVE BEEN DONE THIS! But I am glad they stopped because they are getting on my nerves since I've already gotten rid of all adult content from this blog! Edit- Spoke too soon. F＊ck them!
12/22 I did a bit of errand run with my Mother. I went to Zaxby's and ended up purchasing the chicken bacon ranch with fries. I tried to pay with an expiring card but it kept failing so I had to use Paypal. I don't want anymore of these cards. I will settle for Amazon cards from now and on. Glad I put those small funds from that casino in to replace what I spent.
Ain't gotta worry about me eating out for a while. I mean, where is there to eat at anyway? Panda Express is out, hell, they even stopped sending me emails and I would have eaten at another location. Guess this means to focus on my main goal at hand.
12/23 Very early this morning, I had Adult Swim on with Rick & Morty. I heard a soft melody that made my ears perk up.
Eyeshadow/Lipstick- Product Test
Necklaces- Rainbow Shop
Jacket- Listen Flavor
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| Bing image: Whooper swans, Kotoku Pond, Japan |
