Absolute Nothing...

 

Ni-hao~☯ Welcome to the August edition of this blog post. Click to continue...

Well, it's August first. I had a dream about my Dad and it looked like he was making a sacrifice as I watched him from below. I just wished he, my brother and cousin hadn't sacrificed their lives. I want them all to still be here.💔

David

@justtdavid_

·

Jul 31

I hope August will be so much better than June and July combined. May it be a month of fresh starts, silent wins and unexpected blessings.❤️

Yeah last month was really rough for me. And I do mean ROUGH! It's like I got no time to rest and think. I want this month to be better but we will see. I didn't always have a good track record with August.

As I mentioned in the previous post, here's what I purchased from Rainbow Shop.

Just the shirt

I love the 80s style shirt so much. I sized down but it still fits perfectly. I love the hot pink pencil skirt. And those shorts are so cute! Gonna wear those to exercise in! I can't shop anymore. I have to focus on saving up. I say this all the time, but I'm serious this time. No job and you think I'm about to continue sitting here? Hell naw!

I saw this photo of Donnie Yen in a tribute video.

He's always been a beautiful man!

Tonight, I watched Fight or Flight with Josh Hartnett. OMG that body, those legs! This movie was actually good. I just needed a break from looking at Asian guys. lol

8/3 I had a banana and watermelon today. I hadn't had a watermelon in a long time. I miss eating them all of the time growing up.

🍉

I made a new label for my pictures. Coming soon, possibly this month.

This evening, I watched some of Robocop Rogue City! I've never heard of this and was happy as hell to hear Peter Weller's voice again! I had to make sure it was him. This man was my first White crush as a child!🥹

Remember those wide ＊ss slip ons I purchased from Rainbow months ago? Well, I've taken the symbols off of them and will make a necklace out of them! See how DIY I am?? 😆

8/5 My mother told me that my childhood friend goes to therapy. I did not know this. She's another child free woman who prefers men with money like yours truly. But, I understand what she needs to do. We all need someone to talk to sometimes. It's just that people will shame you for it, despite not having their lives together themselves. I do wonder if people are shaming her into settling and having children because of her age as well.

8/6 My Mom's friend is always saying hi to me. Not sure why but it feels good to know that not everyone hates me. lol

I learned that my niece is really getting into hobbies that I like. I also learned from her Mom that she might start liking Asian guys like me. LMAO She shops at Hot Topic. Yep, that was me in the early 2000s when HT was actually cool. I just thought that was hilarious but if she dates one, then I will be rooting for her! As long as it's not one of those weird nerdy Black dudes with self hate issues. At least her parents supports her unlike my parents... This is why I admire these new parents who don't carry on the ignorant ideologies of the Boomer and Gen X generations!😒

8/7 I contacted a Japanese chick from years ago. I realized I hadn't talked to her in damn near ten years. i was about to delete her until I realized that. I apologized and we've been chatting all morning.

I've been busy these past couple of days working online and trying to build myself back up. No more gambling for a while. I even went back to playing apps for cash.

After twisting my hair again, looks like I'm gonna have to do another big chop. My hair is severely damaged after that last dye work. I am going to start opting out of dyeing my hair again. I'm not scare of having short hair. And my alopecia hasn't improved either.

It feels hopeless at this point. I've been going through my hair products and such. Bin feeling kinda light now. I'm guessing those light spots are from bleaching. Ugh.

8/8 I've removed my Lenovo tablet from my store and decided to keep it since my other Samsung tablet is MIA. So far, I like the tablet. I'm done with Samsung.

Can I say that I absolute love the PINK X LOVESHACKFANCY collab??!! 

OMG reminds me of Ma＊rs gyaru print! Wish I could afford these but will be on the look out for discounts! I've always loved LoveShackFancy!

Out of a whim, I looked up Mars. Looks like they're trying to make a comeback with their retro style! Too bad it's just hoodies! I have at least two of these prints already.

8/9 My Triad/Yakuza Ed Hardy dragon sunglasses arrived.

I spotted these on Fashion Nova but you know those muthaf＊ckas can't keep sh＊t in stock! So I got them from eBay.

8/11 I ate watermelon🍉 today. Mom seems to really love it all of a sudden.

I cut my hair today and it's super short. I cut off about 3" of it. Like I said, I don't mind short hair. I'm not like certain demographics of women who are afraid to rock short hair, thinking some guy is going to have a problem with it. It's not men who are going to have a problem with it, it's other women. People who are used to me having long hair that they believe that was my only beauty feature, and everything else about me is ugly. The same women who take shots at my hair(let me do your hair and make it healthy, you should get a silk press). All that to impress men who aren't complaining about my looks! You can't even make your marriages healthy, you can't even wring your hair with both hands like I can. Even though my hair is short, it's going to grow back. Might even be longer than before.

I am taking a break from my personal FB and IG pages. Just tired of being on there. I posted on X and got this AI reply.

I'm giving up on my job search. It is hopeless.

8/13 This song popped up while I was listening to someone's livestream.

I even remember the lyrics to it. It's a sad song.

I learned that the demon who was over one of the grocery stores in my hometown was arrested for messing with a gweilo chick. I think it was my nephew who was telling me about what was going on from his White friends. That's a damn shame but not surprising as Black men love to flirt and abuse women on the job. Glad that a friend of the family didn't allow her biracial daughter to work up there. He would have been messing with her since she's light skinned with long curly hair. These men make me sick and wonder why their community is in the toilet! I hate working with them as coworkers, and hate them even more as managers. Can never be professional for sh＊t! If I find out my daughter's boss is a Black man, she's quitting right on spot! Had no idea that that same demon was irritating my step brother and accusing him of stealing. He should have been paying attention to his job and that turd between his legs.

PatriotJewel

@patriot_jewel

·

Aug 13

Lowest denominator. Lowest males on the planet but have so many opinions. Don't let the sports, the myth of BBC fool and delusional wt girls itching to be single babymoms... blk men are not and will NEVER be the prize. They run little, own less and create nothing. ZEROS

Keep your daughters away from Black demens and Black femons who are old, fat, ugly and desperate on the job.

8/15 I went outside to help Mom with yardwork. I was outside for a while but after we were done, I had to come back in. My skin was itchy and the right side of my lips are numb. I hate Louisiana.😵‍💫

I went to a local casino and hit a jackpot on it. It's going towards my bills though. But here's something else. This warlock who is security there saw my i.d. and couldn't believe my age. Then he had the nerve to try to approach me about if I'm really 39 and I walked off while saying yeah. I was asking Mom what is a 39 year old suppose to look like? Grey hair, hobbled over with a cane? Something is wrong is wrong with these dumb＊ss youngsters. I got the hell away from his ＊ss because they love turning around and calling a woman old when they're pissed off.

8/17 My period has started. Mom bought some more watermelon🍉. After consuming it, my cramps ceased. So yes, watermelon is good for cramps!😀

This evening, I checked out the THE HOUSE OF THE DEAD REMAKE. I didn't realize they made a remake until my fave made a video on it. I do remember playing the demo of this game in the late 90s when we had the Sega Dreamcast. We rented it one time but I didn't care for it. I didn't get far in it because I s＊ck at shooting games like that. I got better when I played Medal of Honor and Call Of Duty. The most annoying thing about this game is the reload voice repeating itself over and over. I liked the movie that came out in the early 2000s.

I was telling my brother early this morning about how I miss the 90s, especially during the wrestling era. We had a lot of fun back then.

8/18 For some reason, my Lenovo tablet can't pick up games. Ugh so I used my old Samsung(the first one). I started playing Mahjong. One of my favorite Chinese games!🀄

It's been raining all evening to nighttime. A whiff of sadness hit me all of a sudden. I hate depression.

8/19 Something kept wanting me to look at my childhood photos. All I can say is wow, I looked so innocent and happy(despite the things I went through). And now, I look horrible. I'm just not happy anymore. I have no reason to be.

Tonight, I decided to check out Ghost Killer. This movie was really good. The tall guy was really cute but why the guys from the Yakuza series(that I can't find) were in this? LMAO This movie made me miss Japanese stuff. The guys were cute in this as usual. Japan always brings it when it comes to their good looking talents!

8/20 I'm taking another break from gambling. Nope, I still have my earnings but I just need a break.

Here's my dinner for today.

Hickory BBQ chicken tenders with cheesy mac n cheese!

Now, here's the thing, I hate about going out. Is catching the attention of Warlocks. I am walking around the casino and I hear one saying 'how you doing.' I ignore him, he asks again and I kept my head turned. Like how many times are you going to speak before you get the hint that I'm not interested? You think he's done? Oh no. He decides to come sit by me and he's looking at me. I couldn't wait to cash out and move. I hate it when Mom calls my name in front of these people! I don't want these demons knowing my name! Good thing I don't use my real name online! M*rder/S*ucides are on the rise in that community. These dudes are sick and need to be left ALONE! Don't let no one guilt you into talking to them!

I've had to throw away makeup. I don't want nothing else made by L.A. Colors!

8/22 As Mom and I were coming from the bank, I saw that the neighbor's across the street were in the yard. I saw faces I hadn't seen in years. The son went to school with my older brother, he gave me a hug out of nowhere. I hadn't seen their mother in years. I spotted the neighbor further down talking to the daughter. I got curious as into what they were talking about. If it's about that argument I had with my mother a month ago, that's none of anyone's business. I'm human, I get upset. If that makes me abnormal then show me what is normal. Worry about your marriage to that husband of yours you hate, you dark gorilla. This is why I'm more of a hi and bye when it comes to me.

I decided to step away from the keyboard and start on a project I was suppose to start on months ago. It felt good to start on my horror necklaces.

Update- I see that Patreon has it to where you can upload videos on there now. Guess what I will be doing?? Yes, uploading videos there!!! Edit in Sept- Can't upload with my page being 18+😠🙄

Quote of the day

Love. Fall in love and stay in love. Write only what you love, and love what you write. The key word is love. You have to get up in the morning and write something you love, something to live for.

Ray Bradbury

8/23 My Mom and I went on an errands run. First, I went to Walmart to get some things. Walmart got clearance on the hair skin and nails so I got them!

Then we went to Cato's. They have some cute stuff and I haven't been in there in years! I tried on these cowgirl flare pants! Here's some selfies! Izza gots mah genes on!

Did I get those pants? You betcha! We went to other places but I was glad to see the positive smiles and convos folks had with her. I just want her to be happy.

I hate going to Baton Rouge. I really do. I get physically sick going there and other places outside of my city. I mean I hate my city too but other major cities, it's like YUCK! Plus the more I go over there, the more resentment I have, especially it's where my brother passed away at. Along with other painful memories.

8/24 I want to wish the happiest of happiness to my Mother. She looks lovely with her clothes on. Remember those polka dot pants from months ago? She has those on along with a white shawl that glitters that I chose for her. I am known for dressing folks, something I haven't done in a long time. She's gone to that church. ~sighs~ My Dad never went to church. We were spiritualists. She got gifts from her other daughter(I don't claim that psycho, only the other one). Everyone loved her pants.

8/25 The dreams I had last night really made me sad. I think my issue is that I trust people too much and I go out of my way to help people who wouldn't spit on me if I was on fire. That's my problem, I just need to stop doing that. I need to stop believing everything someone tells me.

I washed my hair this morning. I thought I was going to cut it again but changed my mind. I was listening to this Black lady's livestream earlier this morning and I read her chat where a Black lady says she comes here because she's a loner and this keeps her company. A lot of Black women don't really have friends, myself included. I am an admitted loner. I have no friends where I live.

8/26 I ate my dinner tonight and here's a new drink I picked up from Rouses.

It's actually really good despite me not being a fan of peach flavor.

8/27 Tonight, I finally got around to watching Monster Island. Yes, the main reason is because Dean Fujioka is in this! The movie was very dark in contrast and there were no subtitles. So I wasn't sure what Dean's character was even saying with the exception of a few words. I might watch it again in the future. Glad I wasn't the only one who got Creature from the Black Lagoon from this. And oh yeah, Dean is super fine!

8/28 Makeup of the the Day

Eyeshadow- L.A. Colors/Lancome
Foundation- Product Test
Bronzer- Product Test
Eyeliner- Wet N Wild
Lipgloss- Maybelline
Mascara- L'oreal

I also spotted the Chucky Fanta stuff at Dollar General.

8/29 Happy birthday to the King of Pop! I love you Michael! I was just singing You Rock My World when it came on the radio yesterday morning and it felt good listening to it. It makes me realize that bad things always happens to good people. I realized that being nice never got me anywhere. Unlike that dumb＊ss from my old job, I actually am a nice person. I don't expect nothing in return other than respect but respect is something I rarely receive nowadays. I saw this chick's video from Tiktok and she says Black women should just simply put, become villains because no matter what you do, others have always made up their minds about you. After thinking about that as I took a nap, it made think that I need to start doing this. Ignoring compliments, even from other women, not allowing people to talk to me. Because folks think I'm weird, crazy, strange and etc. let them think what they want as long as they get out of my f＊cking face!

I miss my eldest step sister. She's been asking about me lately. She lives in another part of La. I need to head that way and see her, as well as hit up the casinos there. I just need to get away from here for a while. She was and still is the punching bag of the family like I am. Glad she got out of here.

I noticed that Claire's stores are closing. I mean, I knew weeks ago but damn, they are for real. I am going to miss that store. I stopped shopping there in person because I hate the Mall of Louisiana as well as the people in Baton Rouge. I always get their stuff from other stores like Crapmart as well as their website.

8/31 Horror video game of the evening- Harmony of Fear

I thought this game was good and creepy. How ironic it's Indonesian just like that Monster Island movie.

And this concludes this blog post. Tomorrow marks the one year anniversary of my brother's death. I just don't... Nevermind. If you've found this blog post of use, feel free to comment, share and submit a donation. Au revoir~✌