One Year Later...💔

 

Bonjour a-tous~ Welcome to the September 2025 edition of this blog post! Click here to continue!

September always felt like a transitional month for me. As I've said in my previous post, this is the one year anniversary of me losing my older brother. Words can't express how I am feeling right now. Other than what I've said before in other posts as well as what I've said in last year's post. My phone isn't the same, my personal FB isn't the same. Nothing is the same anymore.💔

I sat outside with my Mom. I asked her where did everyone go? She misunderstood me but I was talking about the dead. It's too lonesome and lifeless. Now that the weather is changing, I'm going to start sitting outside with her more often.

Also while we were outside, I looked up to see this young Black lady in a cowboy hat, in blue jean shorts, weave and on roller skates. She waved at me but I turned away. Mom tells me that she's always doing this and the guys are driving by blowing at her. Better be careful. This is why I don't sit outside alone. Because if you roll up in my yard with some f＊ck sh＊t, it's going to be the last thing you'll do. I mean it's fun to roller blade(I've never done it) but times are different now. Hit and runs is out of control. It's not even safe to walk.

Looks like it's the end of the line as far as purchasing from Japan. The tariffs has caused companies over there to add excessive fees to the already expensive products. I saw some cute stuff I wanted but well, it's been real folks. I won't be able to restock at my store either, not like I could anyway because sellers have hiked up their prices!

This afternoon, I finally watched 11 Rebels. I tried to watch it last month or the month before but the website wouldn't cooperate. This movie was really good. I love Samurai movies period! That one scene of Noro almost being dead and the guy sitting around crying, reminded me of how I was with my step brother. Noro actually came back to life. Yeah, I wished my brother would have came back to me. The movie itself has some familiar faces, I already knew who Yamada Takayuki is from Crow Zero back in the day.

9/2 I've started using one of my gummies from last month. I have four bottles of this so I have to use it. I washed my hair and it looks like my hair has grown back!

This is the food that my step brother's friend brought over yesterday.

I got sick after eating it. (Edit- it was the vitamins Mom gave me that got me sick) I haven't been feeling good at all these past couple of days.

9/3 I am taking a hiatus from FB and IG. I'm going to be spending the rest of the month trying to heal and also playing online games for cash. My Mom offered me some pears after she couldn't use the can opener and I ate some.

9/4 While I understand some folks don't like to exercise, do not insult my bike! I swear the only reason why these dudes get attention is because women have no standards nowadays. People should be glad they weren't around in the 90s when the women had some descent standards regarding men. Now, they are just yuck!

Tonight, after I put the trash out, I looked up at the sky. I tried to see the moon but couldn't because of the trees. I haven't seen the moon since last year!😵‍💫

9/5 Had a dream about being with an Asian guy and we had a kid? Interesting... Mom wanted some of my collagen liquid days ago but she forgot. I gave her some today. I told her I have four bottles of this.

9/6 I never thought an idiot would make more sense than anyone. How are you damn near with a health scare, trying to help people while they sit around? I don't understand this person. Then they were offered money that you declined. You're better than me. I wouldn't help that person because that person is two faced. No way you'll ask for my help(well that person knows not to ask) and you talking to me one way and behind others' back, another way. I hate fake two faced people and I refuse to help them!

My first time listening to an Ozzy Osborne song! 

Really digging it!

9/7 This evening, I watched Marshmallow. I had this film saved to my faves until I finally decided to watch it. Not bad, I was confused about the setting if it was the 80s or now. Even the soundtrack gave off an 80s vibe to it. I saw a cellphone so nope it wasn't the 80s! It was something different, got kids acting as the stars and such. That big tall White jock camp counselor(Pierson Fodé) was super hot! 

♪Where did you get that body baby!♪

I had to return these vitamins Mom gave to me. I realized they were making me sick! I felt like I was being poisoned or something. At first, I thought it was the new gummies I got weeks ago but oh no, it was these multivitamins. S＊cks because that means one day, I'll get to get some multis one day.

9/8 I exercised on my bike today. I feel like I could have done more. I need to exercise more.

Made some spooky bracelets! Will make more!

9/9 This movie The Machine has been coming on FX lately. This guy on there caught my eye.

Whew he's fine! And German!

Made another bracelet. I feel like I need to do more to them but not sure.

9/10 I hate that I watched that footage of that young Ukrainian girl being m-worded on that train by that waste of oxygen piece of mama's boy trash! She did not deserve that. Even my mother was saddened by this incident. I have Schizos and split personality nutcases in the family and I keep their ＊sses far away from me.

9/13 I finished reading one of my books. Still have more to go. I got this!

I finally ate this parfait that Mom got from the lady at church.

It's actually food. I should have eaten it sooner because the blueberries went bad.

9/14 Mom told me that she's burnt out. So am I. I'm also burnt out on all of this hatred going on in this world. I had a fun dream where I was hanging out with some college kids. I swear the setting looked like the 90s. I posted a tweet yesterday where it stated that the internet got everyone screwed up that they miss the 90s. I've noticed with these commercials, it seems the media is as well. Folks miss the world prior to the internet. We'll never get those times again. This is why I will continue to keep my distance from everyone, including family. No more responding to compliments, small talk, nothing.

9/15 I washed my hair today. I had to! Because I used Earth Supplied gel-o and that sh＊t had my hair dirty and flaky! I was glad to wash that sh＊t out but have no one to give this sh＊t to!

9/16 I went to the laundry mat with Mom and then we went to the casino in another town. Next thing I know, Mom tells me that this Black dude named Robert who works for a company entitled Climaserv allowed one of the filters he was trying to install to fall on her. Instead of trying to make it up to her, he simply says I'm sorry. I took a picture of it which you can view on my social media. What got me, is the fact that Black folks think everything is funny. This reminds me of what happened to me back in 2016 when I go assaulted and the Black dudes sitting behind us thought it was funny when they were asked what happened. Then the Black gremlin b＊tch who works there acting like she couldn't see anything. She's a SLOW muthaf＊cka! I hate that b＊tch! She acted like she didn't even care but I bet if it was a Black man or a White woman, she would have done something about it. I've explained it all on IG but bottom line, it's just time for me to move from down here. Been time to move. I'm not going out to eat anymore. I even told my folks not to get me anything to eat again. I'm done gambling down here too.

RIP to Robert Redford.

9/17 Mom purchased these Hello Kitty shoes for me.

She thought these were higher but I told her at the register, they are going to be cheaper! And they were!

I guess today is the last day for my Majhong game. I am going to miss playing it. I went ahead and uninstalled it because you know my old Samsung is barely hanging on.

Times s＊ck, people s＊ck even more. I'm going to focus on saving up and continue with my research so I can publish these books. I'm putting my money back into the bank.

9/18 I was listening to a Jamaican woman's livestream that she abruptly had to end because she allowed a Black man to come up and he questioned the validity of an alleged p3d0. She was enraged. I never seen her like this. However, did she really think a group of men who never take care of their children, doesn't care about the safety of kids or women period, hates older women, likes barely legal women won't side with a p3d0? The reason why Black men stick around people like this is because a lot of them have at least assaulted a woman, sometimes it's their own siblings, in their lives. They are always putting hands on women and children. I felt so bad for her but this is to expected. I don't talk to these dudes. I already know what they're on. Look at what happened to my Mom. Even other Black women don't care. I will never let my kids spend the night at these people's houses!

9/20 Man I've never uploaded two videos until today! I hope I can be able to go back on break!

Video game of the evening- Uncanny Tales: 1992

It's a Russian horror game. Those forty-six minutes went by so fast as I was watching this!

9/21 Tonight, I watched Last Straw. I have to say I liked this movie than the one I watched last night(Clown in a Corn Field). I'm not understanding why do they have to put 80s synth music in modernized movies. Sure it sounds good but with cell phones, the fashion, slang and etc., doesn't really fit these types of movies. BUT there was a cutie in it. 

A Japanese one named Joji Otani-Hansen. I'm guessing he's half White. He's the reason I even wanted to watch the movie. LMAO I was just thinking about Japan and Japanese guys and here's one! lol

You know... After thinking about what happened at that casino, I'm kinda glad I don't have to return there. I didn't like the workers there, regret giving that White chick that five dollar tip(I'll never tip them ever again) and I didn't appreciate the Black femon security guard who used to work there, calling me fat. If you continue to go places to be insulted by the workers and they don't have your back when things go wrong, then it's time to sever ties with them. I hate Walmart and how it's everywhere! I want to move somewhere where there's more diversity. Dealing with someone there who is actually good with people is like the lottery. Well, at least I'll be saving my money to go where I think I'll be appreciated.

9/22 Washed my hair this morning with only products with Biotin in it. I am clever like that.

Tonight, I checked out this Thai horror movie entitled The Cursed Land. I haven't watched a Thai horror movie in years.

9/23 My brother and I was listening to 90s music. I was telling him that these tv commercials are hinting they miss the 90s. I thought the 90s was whack? They were saying that in the mid 90s about the early 90s. Now folks miss times of no cell phones, no laptops, internet, actually having to go out and meet people, going to the malls and etc.? But he told me he even misses the 90s.

Tonight, I watched Locked with Bill Skarsgard and Anthony Hopkins. Yes, William is the reason I wanted to watch it. I love him! He got some 🍑 too!

9/24 I did some errands with Mom. I went to a Starbucks in an Albertsons. The White chick who was there who asked me if I was ordering and I showed her what I wanted, she had the Black girl take over. See, this is why I hate dealing with women in the workforce. They act like they don't have no patience or appreciation for their customers. Shout out to the young lady for taking over as we've dealt with each other before. I should have given her a tip because she was pregnant. I'll never give a White b＊tch a tip ever again! Imagine what I had to deal with, with their constant ripping off, klepto and acting like English isn't their first language! F＊ck them!

I got a free ultimate cheeseburger from Jack in the Box via my mobile provider. About time they did something right.🍔

9/26 Man am I going through it. I've got one more video to edit and upload tomorrow. I am going to focus on my J-legends research.

9/27 I went with Mom and we went to the store. Then we went to a female family member's house. I was happy to see the baby again.

9/28 I just realized that I absolutely love me some Italian men. Especially the tall ones with grey eyes, muscular and big d＊cks. Whew!

9/30 I got a mysterious check in the mail. I can't say from where other than thank you. I have a costume to get for next month and this will help.

Selfie of the Day

Sungkasses- Spirit Halloween

Shirt- Crapmart

Pin- Hobby Lobby

Founation- product test

Lipgloss/lipbalm- Crapmart

Eyeshadow- Profusions/Claire's

I feel like I don't take pictures anymore. I used to take them all of the time, but now it seems like I'm not interested anymore...😞

And this concludes this post for this month. RIP big brother. Miss you very much! If you've found this blog post of use, feel free to comment, share and submit a donation. Au revoir~✌